He Thought he Lost her
by shopgirl1997
Summary: He should have taken her with him. Because he didn't, she is dead.


_A/N: I love the Blacklist. I apologize if it seems like I pulled the characters away from their normal behaviors, it was just something that has been running through my mind and it wouldn't leave until I wrote it down._

 _Disclaimer: I don't own anything._

"Tell me what you know about the shooting, Aram?" Raymond Reddington demanded over the phone. His voice sounded calm, he looked like any other man sitting in his car talking on the phone; but on the inside, he was a nervous wreck. He was so scared for his Lizzy. Was she safe? Was she hurt? Was she even _alive_? He had no clue and it was slowly tearing him apart.

"Um, you know I can't… I'm not really supposed to talk about it," Aram stuttered. Reddington instantly lost his shred of patience with the young man, and began to count backwards from five, an empty threat he knew would scare Aram. The boy quickly spoke up again, "Agent Navabi is just arriving at the scene, but there have been three reported fatalities."

"Agent Keen?" Raymond asked, his heart already thumping harder just at the thought.

Aram Mojtabai paused, "I… don't know, there was a female fatality but-" The line abruptly died, leaving the young agent nervous and confused, now worried about who that dead woman could possibly be.

Reddington snapped the phone shut, tossing it into the seat next to him. The people he sent to pick Lizzy up were men, the odds of the woman fatality being someone else were very slim. Tears stung at his eyes and he didn't try to suppress the painful ache in his chest. Red wiped at his eyes, turning his gaze to the street, not seeing what was in front of him.

Elizabeth Keen, his Lizzy, was most likely dead. He promised he wouldn't let anything happen to her, he has failed her so many times, but never as bad as this. He should have been there to get her, or he should have taken her with him. The assassin knew their location, and he sat in wait for her to exit the building.

Red pictured her in his head, looking so much like her mother with her blonde hair. Her eyes looked like a brighter blue, more like her mother's as well. He could hardly see any of her father in her now, she had gotten his dark wavy hair and that was about it. She did, however, have his personality; she was determined, clever, her way of thinking was eerily similar to his. Whenever Raymond would begin to doubt she was really his, she would do something that is so strongly _him_ , there could be no way she wasn't his.

It was his work that drastically altered her life the night of the fire, he had saved her, and given her to a friend who could provide for her in ways he never could have. He had kept a close eye on her, often hiring people to become involved in her life who could keep her safe, or simply just be there for her. When the most important person in her life switched his alliance to Berlin, Red knew he had to get involved, he was the only one who could truly protect her from what was yet to come.

He heard the car door open and close, pulling him from his thoughts. Red quickly pulled the hand gun out from its hiding place under his leg, resting it over his lap to point it at the intruder as he spun his head around to look at them. Almost immediately, he put the gun aside and looked with wide, shocked eyes at who sat breathlessly in the passenger seat. "Lizzy?"

"The bullet was so close, I could hear it. I thought-" She was interrupted by Raymond's arms wrapping around her, drawing her close, and burying his face in her hair. She could hear and feel him let out a long, shaky breath.

"You're alive," he sighed, his shocked, relieved voice cracked with emotion and he held her even closer.

"You thought I was dead?" Elizabeth asked, managing to pull back enough to look at his face, his eyes shiny with tears. She had never seen Red show as much emotion before as he was now, it both concerned her and warmed her heart that her life meant that much to him.

"There were reports," Reddington said, clearing his voice before continuing. "Of a female fatality… I thought-"

Elizabeth looked at the powerful man, who had, for once, shown vulnerability, "There was a woman who was trying to run away, she got caught in the crossfire."

Reddington closed his eyes, pulling her close again, "I thought I lost you again."

"Red?" Lizzy asked him, her tone of voice familiar to him, he knew what she was going to ask. "Are you my father?"

Raymond looked at her, a small smile on his face, "I am your biological father, yes," he pulled away from the curb, driving the car down the street, heading for the next safe-house. "And I promise you that I won't let you out of my sight until your name is cleared and you are out of danger."

 _A/N: Reviews are welcome!_


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